what kind of "90's bitch" are you?

Anyone with a pulse is acutely aware that 90’s fashion has made an official re-return which is basically the crop-top equivalent of dating an old fling because it seems awesome now, but you will regret it later.  Considering “the 90’s” I flashed immediately to Hannah Horvath’s near-naked body screaming “I’m a 90’s bitch, I don’t care, I love it.”  And after acknowledging that we are soul mates, having under the cloak of 4:30 in the afternoon, also behaved quite similarly, I then reconsidered.

While I too have a mesh shirt from Parasuco (“pfffff, a shirt”), when Lena Dunham says, “I am a 90’s bitch” (born in 1986, same as Aino Jawa of Icona Pop) it means something very different then when I do (born 1982).  Both are valid, though severally applicable.  Based on 20 minutes of critical research, it seems that the 12-year-old of the 1993-1995 zone is in fact very different than the 12-year-old of 1996-1998 zone.  Come on Roberta, touch down!  I know the difference seems negligible, but this is what the '82/'86 divide looks like:

The fact that Friends, David Letterman, and The Nanny premiered in my “90’s bitch” and shows like Everybody Loves Raymond, Will & Grace and Sex and the City premiered in the other “90’s bitch” should sound alarms and raise red flags.  Cultural divide here we come?  P.S., It's on the internet now, so obviously it’s true.

Speaking of drawing a line in the sands of cool somewhere between 1993 and 1994, this highly schizophrenic and wildly haphazard opinion piece was inspired by an article about Cracker’s iconic album, Kerosene Hat, released in 1993, which is turning 20-years old this year.  Read it this and educate yourself.

Once the smelling salts wore off (old people pass out alot) and I came to, I realized that in my “90’s bitch” we wore baby doll dresses, combat boots, lace blouses, flannel, overalls, and even the illustrious hybrid overall/baby doll dress (yeah, I nailed it) and listened to Nirvana, Beck and Counting Crows.  The other “90’s bitch” rocked pastel hard candy nail polish, Jellies, Capri's and the union jack dress, stemming from what I hope was a reaction to the end of Thatcherism (Girl Power?). 

The point here is that the 12 year old listening to Madonna's Ray of Light and watching Sex and the City is not the same 12 year old that cut her hair like Rachel Green and had a Nirvana poster.  All things considered, I'd like to be this "90's bitch." Just saying.