thirsty thursday: stone fence

IT IS FIVE O'CLOCK SOMEWHERE

As you all know based on your extensive research, The Stonefence Review is Dartmouth College’s premier journal of arts and letters.  This old rag has been kickin' since the 1890's so naturally I pulled out my edition of "Mending Wall," inserted my monocle and starting putting the pieces together.  This was titillating for me, though I suspect quite boring for my two to five confirmed readers.  I mean, this is a Thursday Thursday cocktail post is it not?   Patience grasshopper. 


The interwebs is pretty interested in drawing a connection between this poem, an undergraduate journal and the stone fence cocktail.  Tangential relationships for $500, Alex?  The journal is pretty decent (I skimmed the current edition this morning, so I am an expert), the poem merely references "good fences make[ing] good neighbors" (I have never met most of my neighbors  and the cocktail has its origins in the freezing over of cider barrels.

You know what, forget this Frost malarkey  the truth is that the Stone Fence began as a rum based cocktail in colonial New England.  The hard cider bit from above is true and they would cut the rum with the cider.  With westward exploration, our good ole boys started to distill corn and made some mean bourbon whiskey.  Cut to the present, where we get shmancy and boozy.

Pull it from the bar:

Bourbon

Angosura bitters

Pull it from the fridge:

Apple Cider

Ice

Now What?  This cocktail is great to make when your already boozy because its effortless and impossible to screw up.  Even Susan Hayward in Smash Up (1947) can handle this and she was a rich old drunk (behold my future).  Get the glass, add the rocks, give a good glug of bourbon and a good glug of cider; tap-tap on the bitters (two-ish drops) and your ready to roll.  Use an inappropriately festive swizzle stick to stir and get down to business, you know I always do.


As for this red and black and black and red polka dot number, there will be more on that later since it is far too cold to go outside, no matter what, ever.  As always, most of it is thrifted but it does involve a leather fringed apron-style belt.  A little teaser to the right in case I don't bother with a post at all. You're welcome.  I kind of love what a schmuck I am as well as how much lena dunham is rolling over in her proverbial grave right now.  Yeah, I added that text, free will and all.

sidecars are for bitches.

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It used to five o'clock. so what did i do?  i hunched over in my living room chair and drank booze sweetie, a pint of shanty booze. round here i keep it two parts snazzy, one part ghetto, which coincidentally (no, its not a coincidence, i just wrote that way on purpose) is the way you throw together this bevy.  so, lets talk sidecars. the origin is unclear but its got to do with London and Paris in 1922 so i'm game in either case.  what do we need?

1. bourbon
2. cointreau
3. lemon juice

you know what i love? pretension!  seriously, i do, and what is more pretentious than debating the origins of a vintage cocktail?  nothing.  so lets have at it. the sidecar has two schools of thought, the french and the English (my two favorite kinds).  the french get down with equal parts bourbon, Cointreau and lemon juice where as the English rock two parts bourbon to one part Cointreau and lemon juice.  i see London, i see France  lets get someone out of their underpants? boring.  anyway, here is a gratuitous picture of the players just in case you couldn't make it though.  As a mixologist, (see i told you i loved pretension), i threw in four shots of bourbon, two shots of cointreau, and full shot of lemon juice.  cheerio, im english!  did my daily beret fool you?  gotcha.  idiot.  whats that an amazing reveal?  anyway, that will yield two drinks. two words: double fist.

sidecars are

for

bitches

mamie taylor thursday.

The Mamie Taylor. Ever heard of it? No? Loser.  Just kidding, why would you?  mamie is totally dead and this drink is from the 1890's. but lets not cut M out of the picture quite yet because she was a spicy little songstress for her time, and killed it as madam woodbury in the musical Knight for a Day (1908).  and frankly, thats something.

what do i love? scotch so lets have at it...

2 ounces scotch

3 ounces ginger beer

1/2 a lime (juiced)

Add block ice to glass, pour lime juice over; pour in the Scotch and top off with ginger beer.  Garnish with a lime wedge.

want to learn more and drink less? good for you, you go glen coco.

welcome to my mixology lab, this is where the magic happens.  these guys are the players: 

and this is how its done:

Step #1: prep work

Step #2: pour

Step #2.5: pour down gullet alley

Step #3: rinse and repeat

thirsty thursday.

yo girl!  happy thursday, little tip from me to you... tip your drink into your mouth (omgs, i said that in andy cohens voice). i should check myself in. somewhere, ideally the four seasons (e.g. is what ill say) but probably more like whatever is under $200/night on priceline, which currently, exceeds expectations.  holy tangent.  anyway, lets talk booze.

here at things to hold and stir, we like to...wait for it....hold and stir things.  like, what kind of stuff asked Ty? dressing drinks, vintage cocktails, and anything on the rocks.

so its official, on thursdays, now dubbed things to hold and stir thursday:

omg, what does this mean? WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!  every thursday we are going to feature a chic new bevvy from my mixology lab to yours.  we will swig, swirl, gulp, uncork, and a whole host of other vaguely gross things.  think of me as the ms. frizzle of booze.  now, because its 5 o'clock somewhere, rev your engines for some early afternoon Thursday imbibing.  check back in a few and check back often. xo